Walk the talk

“You can talk the talk but can you walk the walk?”

gentleman-and-lady-black-and-white-silhouette

Introducing “embodied language skills

As far back as we can trace, notions of proper conduct have been shaped by individuals, rather than by committees. Their starting point has been behaviour – often at mealtimes or during the public “stroll” – which has been seen as a reliable indication of how people are likely to behave elsewhere and of their character.

In a culture where civility, integrity and respect are given high status, the words that we use and the way we behave cannot be separated.

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From the film “Kingsman”

When we speak, we also act. There is an inescapable link between our choice of words and their specific intent.

If it is cold in the room, we could say “It’s cold in here, can someone close the window please?”; or we could say; “Who left the window open?”; “Does anybody mind if I close the window?” even “It’s a bit chilly isn’t it, does anyone feel the same as me?” or “Why don’t you close that window for me?”

Whether we like it or not, how we are viewed by others is a combination of how we choose to dress, groom ourselves, eat, stand, walk, and move, and how we speak.

Some say “Manners maketh Man”. 
In learning a language, well, and making strong positive impressions on others, this is not simply a matter of learning certain cultural “rules” or “customs” – thought these are certainly useful to know – but in identifying how we wish to fit into a situation and what our own values and sense of identity are.

The “embodied” skills  that surround leadership and other powerful roles, come with a range of language registers and techniques.

We provide Personal Action Plans to bring to bear the latest tried and tested ideas of Neuroplasiticity, Integration training, Somatic coaching, Leonard Energy Training and the very important U-Theory, incorporating ‘the Blind spot of leadership’ and ‘Leading from the emerging future’.

Edwardian street scene

You never listen!

“You never listen!”

How often a frustrated teenager might say that, and, in business too, how often people might be thinking this, but they do not say it – and barriers are building up, unseen?

How do we “get” people to listen?
Are we really listening“?

 

Boy (3-5) covering ears, eyes closed, close-up
A child might have listened a hundred times to the being told he/she should clean their teeth every night. But do they do it?
As the saying goes, it takes patience to listen but it takes real skill to pretend that you are. And while this is not something we recommend at all, many people are good at pretending! All the outward signals are there to convince the other person ……

In today’s busy world, where time is always pressurised, arguably there is a lack of true care for others in society. We “listen”, but is there any inner processing going on?

Plus, what works with talking to children doesn’t not necessarily work the same way when dealing with business associates etc.. If we are not listening, what alternative does that give to our colleagues?

© elkor 2009

 

Good listening matters at every level.

Everyone likes to think they know best, so, listening to what another person needs to say, attentively, is not just a real skill, it is also potentially a means for powerful changeHow do we do it, when our own heads are so full of stuff we are desperate to get done, and get said?

It is important to remember that not everyone wants to be the one “up there” doing the spotlight work and receiving the credits.  There is equal importance in what we do to help people achieve their own personal goals, wherever they work.

That goal might be to speak and understand English fluently and effectively, whether they are the Managing Director, in the back office, or at the front of house in a retail role. Having the right skills to really hear what is being said, can change the way an entire organisation works.

Actually, when there is good listening, all sides listen and benefit.

good listening

How do you resolve your “issue”?

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So you’re a top actor and suddenly you’ve got stage fright and it’s becoming an issue. You know you need to address it but you feel you should try to just get on with it. 

But it becomes more of an issue.

Or you’re a business leader who suddenly seizes up in a presentation and this now plays on your mind! 

You can’t stop thinking about it and the problem gets worse.

How to improve Performance

How to improve Performance

Both these scenarios happen often. Sometimes people get through on their own but if they can’t that is where we come in.

If the person is trying to communicate in another language then this adds another dimension.

Confidence may need rebuilding or temporary nerves addressing.

By a skilful combination of working through the issues, and along the pathways of understanding – processing – self-composition – performing we help you to:

Like the new actions and goals you are engaging in and working towards

Unpack the elements and get them in order, seeing them clearly

Locate the best means – for you – of working through them successfully

Use the best techniques and approaches to ensure great outcomes

Contact us today!

How do we measure success?

Bluebird water speed

What is success?

Certainly, from a coaching perspective, it is reaching one’s goals.

The famous holder of the world land speed record (and on water too), Malcolm Campbell, famously said:

“When you have reached your goal, set yourself another“.


Bluebird Proteus CN7 Donald Campbell landspeed record car
His son, Donald, continued the proud tradition of tempting fate and taking speed to the limit.

Some might say, it’s important to know when you have done enough!

We have met and worked with hundreds of people, some who needed to go “just that little bit further” and others who had a “mountain to climb” or who “made huge improvements in no time at all”!

Our job is, that by giving prompts and tools the client is empowered to make inner changes themselves; the coach is a facilitator, not some kind of guru!

Everyone is a kind of expert who can tell you how to do things and what to do. But actually the only expert on you is YOU.

Just as only YOU can interpret the messages in your dream, 20 people can give the same presentation but it will be different in each case. Some will connect with their audience but others will not? Why is this?

This is where a great coach can make a world of difference.

Acting when the time is right, making the critical decision, knowing when to act and when not to, and acting swiftly and decisively, or taking one’s time to think things through.

The difference between winning that business contract or not; the difference between being successful in something or not; between becoming excellent at something, and going far enough to know what success feels like.

 

donald campbell and k7 crew

What are you thinking about?

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Cherubs with bumble bee (after Michelangelo)

As visitors to this site and blog may know, Peter is a painter, and enjoys the rare times he finds to paint.

Painting offers an opportunity to reflect on life and to decide how we derive pleasure from the many things we see, do and experience.

The whole process of thinking opens up doors that sometimes prefer to remain shut!

There are many things said nowadays about how our thoughts influence our feelings, actions and experience of life.

From the idea that we should train our mind to see good in every situation and the idea that positive thinking creates energy, initiative and happiness, comes the opposite one – which follows from the first – that “the discontent and frustration you feel is entirely your own creation”.

This, however, is not at all fair to the person whose thoughts are sometimes a jumble of conflicting voices.

From an NLP perspective, the words we hear inside our head are not our own but often borrowed from what we have heard, seen and felt, from others.

What’s important is to clear up the ones that we have borrowed from elsewhere and have become ‘stuck’ – and those that reflect our deeper and lasting goals.

This is so important when we are coaching.

Learning a language can provide an opening to a whole new way of experiencing the world.

Things suddenly become very clear when we see them in new ways!

Lau Tzu B&W
We cannot stop thinking – though as the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu believed:  Stop thinking, and end your problems!
Certainly it helps to be able to switch off one’s wandering thoughts and focus on the discipline that being with a coach, provides…. at  P.I.E. above all, we focus on a relaxing and thought-provoking approach that enriches the experience the learner is having, whilst helping them to avoid the pitfalls of over-thinking, which can be confusing and counter-productive!

It’s about doing inspiring things that will always be remembered, not trying to force learning!

As another great thinker – Plutarch – said,

The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. 

Plutarch B&W

 

 

 

 

 

What makes a good blog about “confidence”?

Julia B&W

Julia, our expert in voice coaching and performance skills in acting, says

“I guess the basic thing for attracting people to a blog is – if someone has a lack of confidence – they’ll be looking, not at blogs which talk about “acupuncture”, but at blogs that talk aboutconfidence“!!

“Talking about methods is useless without a ‘hook’ of a problem people want to address, such as confidence tools, communicating with confidence,  the projection of confidence…”

She continues: “…..people think acting is different, but it can help with meetings and business in fantastic ways!”
 
“There’s the issue of confidence…  when feeling nervous, the actual confidence which comes from knowing you can handle a meeting does not imply that the methods a person uses will create total confidence without nerves, but that the adrenaline or nerves are controlled – like a trained animal!”
 
“I’m thinking of acting as an example… and I did give talks too as a child – it was scary but I did it, the English Speaking Board; you had a prepared talk then the examiner would discuss other things you were interested in and define ONE. It was quite something really! there were other people there too, an audience of family…”
 
For her – whatever the age – being stuck in front of a load of people and an examiner was daunting… and at PIE we use NLP and hypnotherapy too, to overcome issues..
 
“The prepared talk was fine, then the imptomptu talk was shorter and I recall I had a few minutes to ‘create’ a structure in my head… I was young! I remember my mum in the audience all red faced but proud!  I think that elocution helped because it gave a focus too regarding HOW I was to convey the talk.”
 
 
“There were the background tools of emphasis and pacing and how to make the voice carry to the back of the room, and the breathing also to control nerves… picking a subject and making it interesting; picking out main points… That is what people identify with!”
 
“Otherwise a blog is a professional ‘paper’ and detached from their own experience; it is about connecting so they see their own problem in it and see how you’ve addressed it.”
 
In “the Third Tribe”, Chris Brogan is quoted as saying that the heart of good blogging is addressing people’s pain. Most of us are familiar with the saying “People don’t google ‘aspirin’; they google ‘headache’.”
 
As coaches, we’re solving the problems that people would google!